finals are over.
pero kinakabahan parin.and naiinis paren ako hindi pako maka english argh.

anyways, masaya lang ako na medyo malungkot.gusto ko bigyan si guy no.1 ng chance.well, hindi sya gitarista or guitar research boy.complete geek sya literal.pero kse lahat ng geeks na napapalapit sakin,hindi naman sila seryoso e.kaya medyo hindi ko na talaga alam kung magbibigay pako ng chance sa iba.sigh.wala lang.d nako naniniwala sa love.

so hindi paren ako maka english,may makakabasa.as usual. ayun, malunkot. 2 of my friends.preggy na. tapos ako naiinggit kse gusto ko ng baby pero bf nga d ako makahanap e.gusto ko talaga ng bata kaya nga naging preschool teacher ako dati e.sigh,si guy no.1 sana,mahilig sa kids kaya lng ,d mahilig sa dogs.si guy 2, magaling sa gitara as in.super research and lagi ako kinakausap..kaya lng kaibigan ni ex.guy no.3 kaibigan ren ni ex pero super tinetext ako parati and gusto makipag make out sakin.sigh..malunkot lang kse d ako makahanap ng gusto ko talaga,yung makaka ride sa usapan and lingo ko.si guy no.2 actually may potential e,problema bextfriend ni ex e.badtrip.pero sabi nig guy no.2, wala naman daw pakelam si ex nagpaalam daw kse sya.si guy no.3 nagpaalam ren daw kung pwede daw na ligawan ako.so si guy no.1 naman bestfriend lng talaga ung tingin ko sa kanya kaya sorry nalang

isa lng common denominator nila: magkakalahi lang naman.

la langg malunkot lang ako.panganib ang scholarship stats ko. 3.00 and above ang kailnagn e. wapak yung 1st term ko kse e.panira. badtrip pa ung nakuha kong score sa nuclear physics kanina(fave subject ko pa man din since high school.nakakahiya ren sa lolo ko kse maangas sa physics yun e,omg).. omg its up to my other subjects na to. ayan na dumudugo na. pag daw less than a point sa 3.00.....goodbye scholarship and GAS money na to. gusto ko na nga pakamatay e.seryoso.pero wala.nadaan lang sa kain kanina ng general's chicken sa isang chinese buffet..solve nako. ;p pero seryoso bigla lang ako nalungkot.

badtrip d ako makapag english, na-stalk na kse ng x ko to eh. ayun, malungkot ako madami na nagyayare sa buhay ko. habulin nako ng mga "lahi" ng x ko. ewan ko ba. bigla nalng naiba yung trend eh. sa pinas, jap-magnet e,ngaun russky na e.

anyways, malungkot ako, ayun yung x ko medyo stalker,nag ddrunk-dialling madalas.hindi ko sinasagot yung phoine. nag prank call pa the other day, mina-mock ako.wala naki-ride lng ako.papansin e.

tapos ayun nga kainis,mga lahi nila yung nanliligaw sakin.kadiri. pero may isang guy super cool nya grabe,mahilig din sa guitars, ksabayan ko mag guitar research, syana ren new guitar teacher ko.ayun russky din sya, kadiri nga lng kabarkada ng x ko, pero open-minded naman mga tao dito.wala ren naman daw pakelam yung x ko e.[yeah right, as if hindi nya ko ni-stalk madalas a.] so yun nga, cool kaya nung new guy,astig nga j custom nyang gitara e.kaya lng bano sya minsan sa ibang gamit.ayoko na sabihin lahat baka mahalata e.sya pinaka unang tao na nakilala ko dito na mahilig mag guitar research.sayang nga d kami masyado nakakalabas,busy kse ako masyado.maybe after finals.excited nako sobra pero hindi ako kinikilig. pero masaya ako.ah ewan.naguguluhan na nga ako e. may nanliigaw ren kse sakin super bait nya. medyo geeky ren, kulang lng sya sa makeover pero i promised him na aayusan ko sya,cute kaya nya pag inayusan.medyo weirdo lng kse e.basta nalilito ako.super bait yung isang guy e,ayun russian ren,as usual.sobrang nakakatawa as in buong community na ata nila ung mga nanliligaw sakin e pero halos di naman sila magkakakilala.cguro destined na talaga ako sa lahi nila.bye bye japanese boys na to! haha.

speaking of jap boys,naalala ko si musashi,sya ata ung huling nanligaw sa pinas.gitarista ren yun e.sayang sana yun e,akala nila joel, makakatuluyan ko dati yun e kung hindi lang sya pumalpak e.pano kse,sabay sabay kami nililigawan ng ibang girls nya tapos sa isang lugar lng lagi dinadala.pero anyways, buti naman happy na sya ngayon,miss ko na yun grabe..tanimoto-torres tandem.pag absent sya akala present ung tanimoto kse akla ng prof ako si tanimoto haha

oh well, wala naman akong dahilan maging malungkot e,welll cguro sa love,medyo

kadoro kse e,lapitin ako ng mga lalakeng ginagawa lang akong rebound or tingin sakin doormat. nakakiyak kaya minsan.madalas naiiyak nalng ako.akala nila talga super sungit and mataray ako pero naiiyak ako sobra lalo na pag naiisip ko bat ang malas ko sa lovelife sobra. pero ayun nung dumating tong si "new guitar research" boy.medyo umiba pananaw ko.tyaka saya saya kaya.super bait sakin.

pero ayun single paren ako.di ko pa talaga kaya mag bf uli.uy may tanong ako,totoo ba na yung soulmate mo,iniisip ka pag iniisip ka nya kahit hindi nyo alam sa isat isa na love nyo isat isa? ewan ko naguguluhan ako lately.pero sana naman maging happy nako....sigh.kainis d ako pwede magenglish,kadiring stalker x kse.

Im kinda lazy writing right now. All i can say is im blessed enough to have had a brain so useful that it can cost a penny. (i used to joke a lot bout my brain getting auctioned in ebay for being in mint condition..) so anyways, i have a new job..new apartment.i have upcoming united nation confernces even though i missed one last time.i have my new friends and i trust them (well i get along with hypocrites too)..the former guitarists i used to work with wanted me to shop for their GAS attacks again and there are some new ones who wanted to work with me too. I have this new clothing business with my friend Lauren and im really excited about it.

so guys fuck them who badmouth a lot because talking is all they can do and they dont have the balls for confrontation(thats why theyre called backstabbers dammit)

......its all good,the taste of spring rain.

last saturday was a blast and was the craziest beginning of spring break. yo but i kinda hate being stuck studying for a 5 chapter exam on the 22nd lol!pics are on facebook people!

anyway, i just had a job today as a project coordinator for a NY organization.. this will be a perfect surprise! Seriously..

so anyways, argh got to go.

(im lazy writing recently haha)

There's no right nor wrong decision in choices we make. Either of the two paths you take has a surprise ending. Just like saying YES or NO on some random stranger who's trying to give you the candy you really like. You can either enjoy the candy and die by choking or by saying NO and still stay safe. Not all Happy endings lead to hapiness.Sometimes, the tragedies are the best endings.Why? Simply because without them,you will never learn how to end the story well without learning mistakes or getting bitten by the dragon.

And the greatest thing you'll ever learn in a story...Its moral lesson.

This is what i learned from special people who happened to bump in my life not so long ago, One of them is a person i really wont forget because of the the "tough reality" he has given.

"YOU KISS A LOT OF FROGS FIRST BEFORE SEEING THE PRINCE.YOU MAKE ALL OF THE RANDOM PEOPLE TO SLIP ON THE GLASS SLIPPER BEFORE MEETING THE RIGHT ONE WHO HAS THE SIZE."

This person made me feel that i was the creepiest person in the world.He did this for years(like 4 years?).I suffered being the "bad guy" while i was the last person to know that i was SPECIAL.When i first got here in the U.S, miles apart from each other, i never regretted every single thing i made just to make him like me. It just so happened that he played fair and would never kill an enemy if he knew its already bleeding.That persona made me still hold unto this feelings more.Feelings are complex.Even I dont trust my own. But for letting go of it,i knew for the fact that i gave it away to the least person who would bother about it. I accepted the fact that im just in the friend zone all along while i didnt know that i really had HOPE.

My bad, i thought he would be the least to care but then i didnt know that everything i say moved him.That even a small word made us not speak to each other anymore.

"HOPE is still there.Its always been there because we havent started anything yet"

Nevertheless, Being distant helps a misunderstanding fix itself by means of TIME. (if youre a physics fanatic,then youll get what i mean haha.just kidding).Sometimes, being silent is stronger than words itself that's why its more golden than anything else. Pen is also mightier.(That's the reason behind the invention of hardcopies haha) There's also a difference on being honest and trying to make an insult.

This person kept on advising me on solutions i can take to make me a better human while people who insulted me accused me of negative things and will backstab you afterwards (or sometimes they do the backstabbing first).Usually, the backstabbers,or the "friendly users" as i call them are the people who's always being nice at you w/o any reason. (If you react at this statement, then youre one of them)

I was right, the riskiest and the scariest things are the ones that pay-off in the end.Often they're even vague.Showing and Doing are two different things.Its like Listening and HEaring.ITs also synonimous to Speaking and Talking.

So What do Snow White,Sleeping Beauty,Hansel and Gretel have in common? The villains do have these agenda to make you lure in their traps and take advantage as soon as you're in a deep trance...But the true vilain and the narrator is yourself.

For the conclusion: Not all things that sparkle are diamonds and not all beasts will harm you.

bakit ganun? minsan ka na nga lang magmahal o magkagusto sa maling tao pa? ang malas pa dun yung wala naman itsura, sobrang olats naman, utak-chicken pa.(CHEEEE-ken basa ko diyan)

ayun.di naman sa pagiging stalker no,may na click akong profile sa FB.comment kse ng comment sa kaibigan nmin ng kupz kong....

instincts mehn,saktong chill lang ako.nakakatwa kse.unang tingin ko sa pic.wow,eto ex ng ex ko powtek. wow bagay sila,parehong loser...oo isa naman akong bitter.

nagkabalikan na ata sila pero d pako sure a.since yung major ko may kinalaman ren nman sa forensics ng konti.medyo nag connect lng ako ng dots. galeng no, i can do magic. haha (ganito ako pag emo e, nagddala ng sariling banko.tapos sasbaihin HOT naman ako a! haha)

wala lang.masaket lang talaga yung ikaw pa sinisi kung bakit hindi gumana relasyon nyo.samantalang tama lang pala talaga hinala ko.tapos ako pa sinabihang intsik-yur.

sya kaya unang nag text 2 weeks ago.labo nga e. puro one-liner nga lang reply ko.gusto ba naman ibalik yung mga gamit ko.ako pa nga nagsuggest.."tapon mo na di ko na kailngan yan" sya naman kumukulit na ibalik daw.gusto daw ako makita tyaka sana daw wala akong sakit.kumusta naman. tapos sabi ko.alam mo kung wala kang masabing maganda sana d mo nalng sinasayang yung pagtext sakin. ayun nagspeech pa queso daw ano..hindi daw sya nagalit sakin kahit kelan.queso daw ano.ah basta alam mo eto matinding sinabi sakin..wala daw akong magiging successful na ka relasyon.

naisip ko sa sarili ko. ayus to ah.ako na nga yung pinaka cool na magiging syota e. san ka makakita ng hot chic na nagaasemble ng guitar fx na clone at nag-magic the gathering cards? hello utak-wise lang no? United Nations,Unicef..konektado. major ko sa major nya? layo ng IQ gap ah.

on the other hand, masaket lang talaga.takot na nga ako sa lalake pag lalapit sakin e.pano kase yung mga lumalapit sakin puro sex lang yung itatanong? syempre ako nasasaktan kase hindi naman ako ganun e. alam ko may pagka boplax,bobogs,obos ako sa ganito pero syempre yung pride ko d ko ipapatapak kahit kanino.

minsan nga naisip ko, hindi naman totoo yung soulmate e, bakit kapa maghihintay kung pwede ka naman siguro na tumikim ng iba diba? bakit kapa magseseryoso kung ikaw rne lagi nasasaktan.hindi na uso yung seryoso ngayon. ako lang naman napapagiwanan e. masaya ako pero sa totoo talaga, malunkot yung ginagago ka nalang parati..buti nalang twice palang ako nasaaktan, malayo pa yung gap.

ako kase yung tipong d nawawala agad yung saket e.tyaka wala akong pakelam sa lumalapit. gusto ko kung sino yung trip ko.hindi kung sino sino lang.

so sa ngayon, parang tanga lang. hindi na tuloy ako naniniwala sa kanta ni Andrew E na HUMANAP ka ng panget kase based on psychologizing them,oo yung mga loser.sila yung may tendency manloko para lang ma boost yung ego and self esteem.

tyaka pag may nagsabi sau na chekwa-cure ka(intsik-kyur) wag ka maniwala dun, binabaliktad ka lang nun,kse alam nya na tama yung hinala mo. ayun lang. masaket lang talaga yung pagibig para sakin.ayoko na siya tikman.supot kse e.

i just had a business proposal yesterday.o forgot to jot this down. ill be having a new business again.wohooo.cheers to marketing! my dear friend,ms. lauren dado will be my supplier from manila...ill be working on a new website again!

the boss is back to business.

ill steal your remote control and make it a detonator lol..

lets apply those electronics engineering skills,shall we?

p.s. i just learned that raymonde's sibs would be having an internship here in New York..cheers for the first batch of doctors! Raymonde and Ron will be stuck in California (according to Ron)

bachelorette case no.xxxx

regarding the pie,i never finished it....EPIC PHAIL...FAIL.
the most hilarious experience ever(minus the cheese). no pun intended.